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I was sent to a child therapist who through a series of 4 or 5 sessionsand one family session determined that I was jealous of my sister - shewas the eldest and never had to make do with hand me downs. Of course Iwas jealous of her. Except I wasn't. I was transgendered and theopportunity for this fact to be open and discussed passed me by quickerthan you could say malpractice. My mother, bless her open mindedness gaveme the opportunity to buy my own clothes of my choosing to wear what Iwanted when I wanted and as any typical teenager would, I instead chose totry and conform, to avoid being anything other than normal.I have regretted this decision ever since and to my shame; at times haveblamed my mum for not forcing the issue.Coward.Fast forward and my mental state and inability to deal with my conditionhave caused me to be unreasonable and confrontational. At approximatelyage21 my relationship with my parents, especially my father havedeteriorated beyond immediate conciliation. In. "What?" You and me," she said. "Are we different?" And the combination of assertiveness and vulnerability in her voice melted my heart. Her eyes were open and defenseless."Yes," I said. "We're different from anything I've ever experienced, and I've lived longer than you. But you may be wiser than me. I could decide to ignore my feelings about Donna. I could put her behind me. I would do that for you. But you know I would always wonder. Looking into the distant future, you can feel me wondering, what about her sister?" I met Allison's eyes, knowing I was helpless to resist their beauty, but I tried to stay concentrated on finding all of my true feelings."The distant future," I said, "yeah I'm looking at us together way out there; I admit it. I'm the one who said the 'L' word, remember? You haven't said it yet." You want me to say the 'L' word?" Her eyes flashed. "Love! I'm in love with you! Try to tell me you didn't know that. Try to tell me you're not in love with me too."We were.
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